Monday, January 17, 2011

The Scott/Society Divorce: Covered from all angles

Yes, the news that rocked the world is here and The Greatest Blog Alive has it covered from all angles!! That's right we've got the exclusive scoop! Interviews with the key parties! Analysis from experts!! And it's all for free!!

From the beginning the relationship between Scott and Society was rocky. In an exclusive interview with TGBA Scott reveals the early days of the union. "Yeah well, it was sorta an arranged marriage from the start. Getting into it with Society is kind of the thing to do apparently, and if you don't you have to deal with all manner of shit. So I kind of just grinned and bore it for a while. In truth Society didn't do much for me from the start. Even with a bag over it's head I couldnt manage to be intimate with it... and fuck me if the conversations weren't explosively one dimensional".

On the other hand, when asked for it's opinions on the breakup, Society responded: "CONFORM. IMMEDIATELY." Make of that what you will.

Many of Scott's friends and family had also noticed that the relationship wasn't exactly setting the world on fire. His sister Nicole related to us "Holy shit, if I heard him complain about Society to me one more time I was just about to plug my ears with fast setting gauze. This is definitely one relationship that needed to end." When asked about Nicole's comments Society responded: "DON'T THINK. WORK." Make of that what you will.

Miss Ashleigh Stewart, one of Scott's closest friends touched upon the inevitability of the divorce from her own unique perspective. "Well, we formed a group together called the Ashleigh Scott Society for Social Sanity... which seemed to be a painfully clear message that we both thought Society was a bit insane. I'm only surprised the thing lasted as long as it did, I mean come on!! Do oil and water stay together?? Oh by the way, am I getting paid for this interview? Why'd you just barge into my flat? And during Glee too!! Get lost!!" In response to Miss Stewart Society was heard to remark: "PAY INCOME TAX. LAWS AND STATUTES ARE THERE FOR A REASON." Make of that what you will.

Finally, we hacked into Scott's personal computer account for a more illegal look at his views on the divorce. We found a bunch of saved Word files and blog documents containing many vitriolic threats, even going so far in one file to state that the only thing he really wanted "was the see Society burn. Oh would that be sweet." In what can only be described as over the top spiteful ranting Scott expressed thoughts along the lines of "Society is a blood sucking parasite that exists only to drain the will, ability to think and emotion. The sooner it gets fucked and dies a painful death the better for everybody. Especially me." We were hesitant to relate these words to Society in our face to face interview... but in the name of journalistic integrity we asked Society anyway. "CONSUME. MONEY. NOTHING TO SEE HERE."

Make of that what you will.

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