It's 2011. Remarkably, I am quite happy (wait... did I just say 'happy'? That is the sort of noumena I never thought I would openly describe myself as being a part of) about this, because under my batshit theory of cycles, 2011 is due to be an awesome year for me.
See look... even numbered years for me are ALWAYS bad. 2000, 2002, 2004, 2006, 2008 and 2010. All unanimously bad years. Odd numbered years, are almost ALWAYS good. Especially the two best years of my life sweet sweet 2003 and 2007. 2009 was merely decent, and 2005 was emotionally turmoil-a-riffic so the odd numbered years dont always deliver the goods, but they are a fair bet. However, I noticed that 03 and 07 are spaced four years apart, and 2011 is four years after 07... which means I'm due for a pioneering year of awesomeness. Now lets watch as it doesn't happen and I'm just even more cynical and jaded by the end of the year.
Let's first reflect on some of the (few) good things about 2010.
Best Music of 2010:
Anathema - We're Here Because We're Here
Mentioned before on this blog. So profoundly moving that even Juelles wears the band's sweatshirt when visiting NZ. ;)
Vanden Plas - The Seraphic Clockwork
I love epic sprawling concept albums that have a deep and involved story. This fits the bill. To be succinct it tells a story where Satan convinces Judas not to betray Jesus Christ so that he is never sacrificed and mankind is never saved. 1600 years later a man is plagued by memories of a life that isn't his own. Long story short he is the reincarnation of Judas destined by God to travel back through time to be the one to betray Jesus so that he can be crucified and mankind can be saved. The only problem is, he must sacrifice his life and his love to fulfill his destiny. The final song 'On my Way to Jerusalem' is a 12 minute epic that would have been the greatest song of the year if it wasn't for...
Seventh Wonder - The Great Escape
After listening to the first six songs on this album, if it ended there, I would have said "Great album guys". 'Wiseman' is an awesome opener, 'Alley Cat' is catchy as hell, 'The King of Whitewater' makes me orgasm at the awesome keys and vocals, 'Long Road Home' is a perfectly executed emotional ballad. But it didn' stop there. No there's one more song. The title track 'The Great Escape' clocking in at an obscenely fantasmic 30 minutes and 35 seconds in length. The song of the year without a doubt. Based on the science fiction epic poem 'Aniara' by a Swedish Nobel Laureate this song pretty much makes me require a change of pants every time. It weaves seamlessly from technical heavy sections, to soft sadness, tender beauty, anger, confusion and power as it tells the story of a spaceship directed off course for 24 years drifting alone in space unable to get back home, wallowing in the pointlessness of life and trying to fill the gaps in their hearts with sex, science, memories and stories until only one remains, cursing existence and fate. Yeah, no happy endings here. But fuck me if I'm not going to write on this poem for my Masters. Listen if you're brave enough, if only to tell everyone that yes I have listened to a 30 minute song ;)
Best TV of the year
The six year saga of the greatest TV show of all time came to an end this year. And what an end it was. I cried like a fucking baby. Any show that so brazenly endorses spirituality and the afterlife like this one ended up doing gets a special place in my heart forevermore, right alongside The Matrix movies, and The Dark Tower books.
Survivor Heroes vs Villains and Nicaragua
The best season of Survivor took place this year when the show invited back the 10 best 'good guys' and the ten best 'bad guys' and had them play the game again. This season was off the charts with crazy strategising, blindsides, idiotic moves... and Amanda Kimmel. Sweet, sweet Amanda Kimmel. Oh Amanda, I would be the greatest 23 seconds of your life. Please call me??
Um.... better revise that down to 15 seconds.