I'm sure I have professed my love for Survivor on this blog many a time, but it really is the best reality show of all time and lapses easily into the best tv ideas ever. Put strangers on an island or in the wild, get them to survive together all the while jostling for positioning in a strategic game of socialising, politics and group dynamics. It's like a window into our collective psyche sometimes... and sometimes through the window you see weird ass shit that reminds you just how eclectic the human race can be. Here are some.
1. Courtney vs Bruce, the Zen garden incident from Exile Island.
Bruce the old asian man decides that work around camp can be put on the back burner in favour of building a zen rock garden on the beach for purposes of relaxation and meditation. This pisses off the entire rest of the tribe. Then Courtney, the crazy girl everyone hates decides to use Bruce's zen garden to do her yoga, thus pissing off Bruce. Yes, they are on a deserted island trying to survive and the biggest issue is the construction of a rock garden and other people using it for yoga. Humanity.
2. Erinn gets pissy about Coach suffering more than her in Tocantins.
Erinn, a young 20 something girl fresh off a bad break up comes on Survivor and does fairly well. She is sent by her alliance of J.T and Stephen to the exile island because she is the only one they trust to tell them if there is another immunity idol hidden there or not. There isn't, and she suffers in the storm with meagre food for 48 hours. A few episodes later Coach, the outdoorsman, renaissance man and adventurer (aka the greatest man alive) gets sent to exile and vows he will do it the monastic way. He's going to go out there for 48 hours, not eat or drink a single thing and try to reach spiritual enlightenment through suffering. Remarkably this pisses off Erinn for some stupid reason who thinks he is trying to downplay her suffering on Exile when really I'm sure he's thinking "What bitch?! You think I'm going to go out there and starve myself for 48 hours just to make a 20 year old brat look weak? Get off it woman!". So basically in a nutshell you have a girl getting pissed off because someone else is suffering and she wanted to be the one who suffered most. Sense. This makes it. Humanity.
3. Shambo has a bad dream in Samoa.
Shambo is a 45 year old former military woman with a mullet. Yeah I know, that might be all you need to know right there. But she also has SCARY PRECOGNITIVE DREAMS. So scary in fact, that they cause her to vote out her own allies!! One night, Shambo wakes up after having a nightmare regarding her teammate 'Danger' Dave Ball, a guy who has spent nearly 22 days attempting to placate Shambo, play down her eccentricities and keep her in the game as a loyal ally. Without a moment's reflection this is all she needs to decide that Dave is evil and needs to go home. She goes and tells the diabolical Russell Hantz, who only wants to use her as a pawn to get himself to the end (and had burned his own tribe's socks just to make them suffer more in the rain, class act really). Russell plays into her delusions and tells her that it must be 'a sign from God' that Dave has some bad intentions. She flips it up and Dave goes home. All because she had a bad dream. So I guess in her real life if she had a bad dream about a friend, and there is no game of Survivor to stop her, she's going to butcher him in his sleep. Humanity.
4. Shane Powers threatens to murder Courtney, Courtney more concerned with her apartment in Panama.
Shane Powers (who is AWESOME) on day 5 of the game swears on his son's life that he will be loyal to Courtney, Aras and Danielle for the rest of the game. Only problem is... Courtney is a nutball and he grows to DESPISE her. But he cant vote her out, because he promised on his son's life who is the only thing that matters to Shane. So hilariously he is forced to live with her for the remaining 34 days. One day tensions come to a head between the odd couple and Shane when discussing the next vote points his finger in her face and proclaims "If you stab me in the back, I will come to your shitty little apartment and fucking kill you." Courtney reels back slightly and comes back with an absolute gem. "My apartment isn't little!" Humanity.