Wednesday, August 18, 2010

A very LATE answer to more ETERNAL QUESTIONS

How late are we talking?? Two months that's how late. But the most important thing is these questions get ANSWERS from the Guru. Because lord knows the world cant rest until a bunch of questions that are probably meant to be rhetorical are given ridiculous answers on a blog hardly anyone knows about. ;)

1. Does true love exist? What about love at first sight?

Yes and yes. The phenomena known as 'love at first sight' is linked to a specific set of planning that we as souls did before we incarnated in this lifetime. So that we don't miss out on our soulmates we place 'reminders' in the other person's appearance, scent or the circumstances in which we are to meet them to let us know they are in fact something special. I have had this happen to me before, when from the instant I saw someone, I knew they were going to be a lifelong connection. This connection does not always have to fall within the confines of a limited 'relationship' or 'marriage'. So far it has proved accurate, and they have confided they felt the same thing when they first saw me. Now really, why did this question have to be first? As far as I know there is little that is funny about me going off on tangents such as this. Maybe I can bring it back by saying that if you're having these sort of feelings I'm describing and you're looking at a pig on the farm, you may need psychiatric help.

2. If you build it, will they come?

Well, it largely depends what you mean by the qualifiers 'it' and 'they'. For example, replace the word 'it' with the word 'A mosque' and replace the word 'they' with the word 'Jews' and the answer is probably fucking not. However, if you replace the word 'it' with 'shopping mall with flashing lights and colours' and 'they' with braindead socially programmed deadheads, the answer is almost certainly yes.

3. Is youth wasted on the young?

Oh dear, this set of Eternal Questions seem to stuck on repeat. Since I've answered this before, I'm going to instead go off and waste my youth by smoking some serious reefer.

4. Do blondes have more fun?

Dude... I could totally go for a cheeseburger right now. Or five.

5. Is love blind?

Love is both totally blind and all seeing. This is not a paradox. Love is blind because physical form ultimately makes no difference and may as well not exist. Love is all seeing because it sees both physical form and that which lies beyond. In other words, try loving Adolf Hitler even if he possessed the body of Brad Pitt in his prime. It ain't fucking happening. Then try loving your soulmate if he has temporarily assumed the body of Adolf Hitler. Perfectly possible.

6. Should English be America’s official language?

No. The official language of America should be a complex series of clicks and whistles. It should then be forcibly imposed on every citizen. Basically because this is a state of affairs that I would find humorous.

7. Is it too late to apologize?

No. It is never too late to apologize, and to forgive oneself. Forgiveness stops the wheel of karma. This answer however may have it's limits. For example, if you were the son of a bitch responsible for the extinction of the dinosaurs, IT'S FUCKING TOO LATE YOU SMARMY BASTARD. THE DAMAGE IS FUCKING DONE.

There, now you have more Eternal Answers and your life continues to be illuminated by my splendor.

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